5 reasons you may not be landing the girl.

It's back... Ensemble, dating edition, and this week I want to talk about some of the reasons you may not be landing the girl. Why you may have a couple "ones that got away", and how to adjust your behaviour to avoid future regrets (and losses) when it comes to women. 

I am not going to claim to be a dating/man pro but I have definitely had my fair share of amazing and not-so-amazing dating experiences and I am going to take what I've learned and share with you to (hopefully) help you land the girl of your dreams. The five items below are some of the reasons why some of the Mr. Perfect's on paper didn't work out in the end.

Here we go...

5 reasons you may not be landing the girl.

1.     Your expectations are too high.
2.     You’re emotionally unintelligent.
3.     Your style needs an…. update.
4.     You don’t have a passion.
5.     You don’t open the doors for women.

Now, some of the above may seem obvious but let me explain further.

1.     Your expectations are too high.

If your ideal woman looks like a Victoria’s Secret model, has the brains of an Ivy League grad, the ambition of a CEO, can cook a mean meal and takes care of you (almost) as well as your mom, your expectations are probably too high. Unless you possess the same traits, in man form, which you probably don’t (as much as I like to believe that perfect guy is out there), you need to be more realistic. Decide what your non-negotiables are (choose 3 or 4) and let the rest go. Appreciate a good brain and a good heart - they will last a lot longer than a good body.

2.     You’re emotionally unintelligent.

From experience, I can tell you that emotional intelligence is the number one most important trait people you intend on forming relationships with must have. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives… whatever it is, emotional intelligence is key. Now, I am not sure if it is something I can teach you how to have but, if you spend more time listening and understanding and less time talking, you may figure it out on your own. If your girl is upset about something, try to understand why. Try to determine whether it is you or if she just had a bad day. If it is you, try to understand what is it you did and discuss with her how you intend on fixing it for next time.  If she just had a bad day, I’d suggest cracking open a bottle of wine and telling her “everything is going to be ok”. Simple, right?

3.     Your style needs an (ahem) update.

Now, although this is completely superficial, it is 100% applicable to why you perhaps may not be landing the girl you want. Initial attractions are normally based on image alone. This doesn’t have to be dressed-to-the-nines, dapper as *&@# style, but it does have to be some sort of look. Whether it’s classic, trendy, edgy, simple… you need to find your style and stick to it.

I 110% believe that every guy should have his own unique style, which is why I will never dress two men in the exact same outfit. If you need help finding your style, I’m here to help! If you have your own style but don’t know if it is working (perhaps your clothing isn’t fitting ideally), I can help with that too. Be cognisant of your shoes – good shoes go a long way.

4.     You don’t have a passion.

Passion. Perhaps the best word in the English language. Without passion, the world is just blah. If you don’t have a passion in life, you may be perceived as blah too (no offence). You don’t have to be pursuing a doctorate in Renaissance literature or creating art that sells for millions, but you do have to truly LOVE something. Perhaps it’s the way coffee beans are roasted, or maybe it is the craft of a wonderfully created Manhattan, or yoga or books or gardening… or fixing cars. It truly doesn’t matter what it is as long as you are passionate about it.  If you don’t have a passion, find one – your conversations will flourish and your mind will become more attractive.

5.     You don’t open the doors for women.

I mentioned this one in my other dating blog, 7 things (confident) girls wish guys wouldn’t do, and I feel that it is important enough to mention again. A simple door opening is more meaningful than you might think - It shows you’re on the ball, chivalrous and polite. Opening the door for all women, not just her, makes an impact... and it’s simple. 

There you have it, 5 reasons you may not be able to land the girl. Take these 5 tips into consideration with the next one and see how the outcome differs. You never know, it might turn into love! <3

- Ensemble Style