How to land that first date.

The first date is always the hardest to nail down. You’re not sure if she is smiling at you or at the person behind you… her vibes are hard to read and what if she has a boyfriend? What if she flat out says no? There are so many things that will inevitably go through your head before you ask her for her contact info.

Although there is not a single, sure-fire way to tell if she is 100% into you, there certainly are ways to read the situation and approach her in a way that will increase your chances of a number exchange.

Body language.
Is she facing you? Did she adjust her body slightly towards your direction? Does she look at you and then proceed to say something to her girlfriends whilst smiling? If one or more of these are a yes, she is probably noticing you.

A smile.
If she smiles directly at you, chances are you’re in.

Eye contact.
Is she making (and holding) eye contact with you? There is a difference between a quick glance while scanning the room and full-on eye contact – if the latter is the case, you’ve got the thumbs up to approach her.

If one or more of the above three holds true, you have indirectly been given the go-ahead to make your move. Now, before heading over, make sure you consider the following.

Be confident.
If you walk over to her with your head held high and your fear of rejection at bay, you will be more likely to achieve the outcome you desire (especially if she is with her friends… because, girls talk). Stand up straight, put your shoulders back, introduce yourself and speak clearly.

Be eloquent, respectful and direct.
Chances are she’s heard every line in the book, and doesn’t really want to hear one from you (not if you’re actually looking to take her on a date, that is). Sure, it might be funny to use a cheesy line to make her laugh, but, from a females perspective, it is always more impressive when a guy can say what he wants without having to hide behind humor. [A lot of guys will use cheesy pick-up lines so they can pretend they were only joking if they get turned down]. Look her in the eye, introduce yourself to her [and her friends if they are around], tell her you noticed her from across the room and you’d love the opportunity to take her out for a coffee or glass of wine. 

[Offering a coffee in addition to late night bevies shows that you aren’t just interested in getting in her pants – she will most likely choose the wine].

Leave your card or ask for her number (or both), and return to your friends.  There is no need for small talk at this point, unless she encourages it. If she is with her friends, she probably doesn’t want you lingering around - save the chats for the one-on-one.

Contact her.
Give her a call or send her a text no sooner than the next morning and no later than 72 hours (to be honest, a guy who is willing to pick up the phone is much more impressive than a guy who texts to ask for a date). Refer to my ‘when to text her’ guide to find out when you should contact her!

Tell me: what are your biggest fears/concerns when it comes to picking up a girl and how do you get past them?

Thanks for reading!

-       Ensemble Style